Posts tagged - cavs

Kyrie Irving, meet Carlos Boozer, another Duke “man”

kyrieearthisflatCarlos Boozer’s sorry ass is the only thing standing between Lebron James and a 9th or 10th consecutive ring next year. Coach K’s slave plantation curriculum that’s supposed to turn Kyrie Irving into a Duke “man” (just like Carlos!) after 11 full games (we’ll get back to that) apparently not only failed to include the Earth being round, but also any sense of basketball history, including the team that would draft him Number One to replace Lebron James, which is why Kyrie’s number is 2. This ignorance will mean Kyrie Irving is on that Utah Road to Nothingville, sadly.

Kyrie is not the first moron to think he was better, somehow, than Lebron James. The entire NBA went through the “maybe Lebron ain’t all that” routine from Darko Mlicic, to DWade, to Carmelo, even, at one point, Gilbert Arenas, before Carlos Boozer convinced himself, yep, that was him. Then, he ruined every Clevelander’s 2004 summer with this same, pathetic routine. I remember it vividly.

I vividly remember hearing the news on the radio, as I drove off the Shoreway and onto the access road to Whiskey Island for some beach volleyball on a glorious summer night in 2004. The Cavs failed to pick up Carlos Boozer’s extension, trusting Boozer would sign a longer new contract.

The haze began. I remember making the turn from the off ramp to Whiskey Island Drive in silence, turning the volume up on the radio. Nothing. The pause in the newscaster’s voice was so audible, I could hear my own mind race through the litany of Cleveland sports woe in a nanosecond and conclude, before I even got past the marina, Boozer would be gone the next day, which he was. That is how important Carlos Boozer thought he was, how much better he could do without Lebron James.

About those 11, count em, eleven games at Duke. That is why no one discovered that Kyrie Irving is made of glass, and injures predictably, if he is Mr. Big. As he did at Duke after 11 games. This lathered, rinsed, repeated in Cleveland for two seasons before Lebron James returned, took the load off Mr. Big, and transformed Kyrie into the player he was always meant to be. Kyrie’s game puts stress on human anatomy that the human body simply cannot sustain for an 82 game season as Mr. Big. He even broke down in the 2015 Finals. You’d think Lord of All Dukies Coach K woulda noticed that.

So, instead of staying one of the greatest players in the NBA in 2017-18 (as Carlos Boozer was in 2003-2004), Kyrie will join a bunch of scrubs on a rebuild, be injured by December, and eventually sell toothpicks at a baseball card convention in Salt Lake City with Carlos, because that will sell tickets. I’d buy one!

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Cleveland RNC post mortem, a Cavs gift that keeps on giving

Why CLE was peaceful this week.

Why CLE was peaceful this week.

First things first. Applause to the Cleveland Police Department for their work this week. As I write this, on the final day of the RNC, the most high profile arrests and incidents surprise no one in town; the usual suspects up to their usual stupidity got their star turn, the police obliged peacefully (mostly) by arresting them. I could do without the Mad Max Thunderdome uniforms, the heavy handed fencing, but beyond that unnecessary show of force, the REAL show of force was not the counterproductive gratuitous militarism of humvees, but massive numbers designed to deter the lone wolves, and it worked. Spectacularly. Some of my comrades reasonably object to the “police state” overwhelmingness, but taken as a whole, can’t believe I’m writing this; bravo to the blue line. Well done. Thank you.

Which means the main thing a lot of cops from all over the country take from CLE is an ear full of what folks think of them, to their faces. If that’s the only interaction between police and protestors that lives on, good. Cops need to know the way they policed CLE this week is the way we expect cops to police ALL OF US, all the time. Peacefully, professionally, with utmost preparedness, kindness, politeness, and NO ONE GETTING SHOT, K?. Why is this so hard for police to understand? Why do so many police so often lose composure and shoot unarmed black people? Or routinely beat the living crap out of unarmed anybody on such a regular basis, black OR white? Come on guys, you know how to do this job, ya’ll just proved it, so do it right, every time, not just at high profile events you have 2 solid years to plan for.

Which brings me to the overhyped paranoia, which has been palpable in CLE since the day we were awarded this RNC bigot parade shit show. Big fat zero. Donald Trump tonite could certainly set off something that boils over into the streets, but folks, y’all been inexplicably missing the biggest thing in CLE history in my lifetime – we just won a ring. This town is in a great mood, and unless someone takes a shot at Lebron James, or starts making fun of shirtless J.R. Smith, we just ain’t havin’ it. Not this summer. If the Cavs had lost, that’s another matter. But we won, historically, with flair, in an all-time comeback, and to my mind, that’s the single most important factor keeping a lid on things at this RNC.

We now await the economic measure of this RNC, which no doubt will have been just as oversold as the paranoia. Will the city and county be in debt after this RNC? Will anyone be surprised if our oligarchic overlords demand some sort of tax increase on the poorest people in the county to pay for their glorious soiree? Will the omnipresent Potemkin Village of E. 4th St., not just the most seen image of CLE this week, but the most heavily publicly subsidized 500 feet in the Midwest, become a bad joke? Is the pope Catholic?

That’s for another day. For now, Cleveland should be very proud. Did I mention we’re champions?

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Lebron turns NBA hot stove up to 11 – Carlos Boozer edition

My Carlos Boozer Moment

My Carlos Boozer Moment

It is the delicious news of Rajon Rondo signing with the trainwreck Chicago Bulls which turns my attention to the year long victory lap Lebron James will march across the face of the NBA. The Bulls now spin like roadkill in Lebron’s rear view mirror, just as the Detroit Pistons have since 2007, when Lebron James himself singlehandedly blew them to smithereens.

Since Lebron entered the league in 2003, there have been many, many villians in the Shakespearean tale of CLE & LBJ, including as the Bard would insist, himself. They all, except Lebron (redeemed!), now scurry to come up with some Big Three or Dream Teem of their own, aping Lebron James at his well known worst, as if in prayer they can somehow win a ring while Lebron is still playing. These Cavs aren’t that good yet, but the 2016 NBA Finals comeback is proof they’re about to be. That sound you hear from the NBA hot stove is sheer panic.

All of which brings to mind the first such pretender to this throne Carlos Boozer, whose treachery may be the biggest reason why Lebron doesn’t already have 11 rings in a row. I vividly remember hearing the news on the radio, as I drove off the Shoreway and onto the access road to Whiskey Island for some beach volleyball on a glorious summer night in 2004. The Cavs failed to pick up Carlos Boozer’s extension, trusting Boozer would sign a longer new contract.

The haze began. I remember making the turn from the off ramp to Whiskey Island Drive in silence, turning the volume up on the radio. Nothing. The pause in the newscaster’s voice was so audible, I could hear my own mind race through the litany of Cleveland sports woe in a nanosecond and conclude, before I even got past the marina, Boozer would be gone the next day, which he was. That is how important Carlos Boozer thought he was, how much better he could do without Lebron James.

At the time, the search was for the ever elusive shooting guard, and the 2004 off season was supposed to be when the Cavs took “the next step”. James and Boozer together, as now with James and Kevin Love, were the first signs the Cavs might become a dynasty. Alas, Shakespeare had already cast Carlos Boozer as a mere bit player added onto the pile of Believeland documentary film fodder. Boozer is now out of the NBA, laughably floating a comeback last week, after precisely the mediocre career everyone knew he would have without Lebron James.

It is in this spirit I greeted the Atlanta Hawks signing Dwight Howard, the Knicks signing BOTH Derrick Rose AND Joakim Noah (be still my heart), and whatever Dwayne Wade “sweepstakes” are afoot this off season. Cleveland’s got the NBA hot stove boiling over in what will prove futility.

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